Why I left the Baptist Church

All too often, when we are told something, we believe it without checking the facts for ourselves.  That is what happened to me.  I was raised Baptist.  Well, I shouldn't say raised, because, it's a long story that I'll save for another time.  But, my grandparents on both sides were Baptists, and when my mom was making her appearance, we went to the Baptist church.  It's what I've known. 

So, when I get out on my own, I of course go to the Baptist church.  I never did feel like I fit in, but for some reason my family and I stayed there for 6 years.  All the people, young and old, dressed like they were about 75 years old.  Not me.  Why should I?  Of course I didn't dress like I was working the evening shift at 5th and Main, either.  I wore my 20something clothes.  I had tattoos, and a piercing in my nose. 

Anywho, first offense came when I overheard someone say that dressing in jeans wasn't "ladylike".  Really.  Guess who was in jeans that day?!  Come on, guess!  Yes, me.  So, I started wearing dress pants more often.  I've never been too into dresses.  Rarely I will put one on, like on my wedding day :)  But, then I was told that if I wanted to continue teaching the children, I had to wear dresses.  Really?  Where in the Bible does it say that?  Oh that's right, it doesn't! But, in order to please, I went out and bought skirts (knee length, of course!) to please these people. 

The last straw, was when we had a 75 year old man from Georgia fill in as pastor for the day (this church can't seem to find the "right" pastor to take over since ours left over a year ago).  He was preaching on how all are welcome in the church, including all you "dope addicts with tattoos" as he's making eye contact with me.  First off, I've NEVER had a needle in my arm except for when I'm getting my tattoos (at a professional, clean shop), and when I'm getting my physicals, bloodwork, vaccines, etc at my doctor's office.  How dare someone who says he's a man of God pass judgment like that!  So, I walked out and sat in my car the rest of the service until my husband and kids came out.  Of course, others heard him say this, but they sure didn't tell him it wasn't a godly thing to say.  You'd THINK true Christians would want to straighten someone's path if they're doing something wrong, at least it's what they state in their insane mumbo jumbo preamble they pass out when you join their church. 

But after the whole "you have to wear dresses" crap, I felt like I got a nudge from God telling me something isn't right.  So, I prayed for guidance, looked deep into the Bible, and opened my eyes! Like I said, you do not have to wear certain clothes to church!  Also, these denominations are man made.  Denomination-denominator-division.  Division of the church.  The church is ALL OF GOD'S PEOPLE.  Man divided it.  We are all supposed to be ONE WITH CHRIST!!!  Instead, I do recall hearing several times in the church about the "crazy Methodists". Why?  Why should we as Christians bash another Christian because he's not in our "group"? 

The whole thing started wearing me down.  On top of that, I recall being told that the Little Mermaid isn't something the kids should be watching because she disobeys her father.  LOL REALLY!?!?!  A Disney movie should be off limits to my children? I've watched that movie a jillion trillion times.  She marries her prince.  Last I knew you had to be 18 to get married without parent's permission.  So, either her father gave her permission, or she was a grown adult mermaid! 

Plus, the Baptists (at least this church) are very selfish.  They are self serving people.  They will do things that involve the church only, but forget about the community.  There's no outreach for those in need.  They hold retreats, banquets, meetings, etc, all for members and their friends.  The only thing they do that involves the community is Vacation Bible School.  What about those who don't have food, clothing, or just need a little bit of help in some other area?  Christ says we are to "love thy neighbor" that means we're supposed to help those in need!!!

And don't get me started on the fakeness and clickyness.  These folks will pretend to like you to your face in church, and then snub you out in public AND talk about you behind your back.  All while acting like their lives are perfect.  I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect and I have plenty of faults, but you'll never catch me acting fake and perfect.  That'd be too exhausting.  I'll just be the imperfect, Christ loving, Christ NEEDING person that I am. 


And that's why I left the Baptist Church!

For the record, God did lead our family to a very welcoming church.  This church is a huge giver to the community.  I was truly shocked at just how much they do.  You definitely know where your money is going at this church!  And when you walk in, there's NO FEELING OF JUDGMENT!  People greet you and are just happy you are there. And they don't have a pish posh preamble.  But they do have a little flyer that tells about the church.  My favorite part is where it talks about how it doesn't matter what you wear, they're just glad you came to worship the Lord!!!

Whole food, or a whole pizza?!

Seriously.....food may just be the death of me.  I spend so much dang time focused on food!  What to eat, what not to eat, blah, blah, blah!  It makes me CRAZY!!!  There is SO MUCH focus on health these days (which is GOOD), but all these fad diet crazes are non sense!    If they actually worked long term then more people would be doing them.  If they weren't just a marketing ploy like 90 % of everything else in the world is, they wouldn't cost so much dang money!  There is no miracle, easy weight loss trick out there. 


But I don't buy into those.  Nope, I'm not a sucker!  But I DO try to maintain a healthy diet.  I recently discovered "whole foods".  Hmmm....sounds good.  What's this?  It's food that's from the Earth.  Food God gave us.  Food that our great grandmothers would recognize!  So yeah, I can do this.  There is a whole slew of food that is considered whole.  All the good for you stuff that you're supposed to eat anyways.  Fruits, veggies, meats, whole wheat everything!  It's doable, really.  Except for when that time comes.  Ladies, ya feel me?!  That's when I get as angry as a caged wild beast.  Why?  Because I want PIZZA!  I want CHOCOLATE!  I want NACHOS (oh dear nachos, how I love you!)   Then it becomes a battle of the will.  Open the fridge.  No!  Shut it.  NOW!  A little bit of something "unwhole" isn't gonna kill me.  Or is it?!  No, of course it's not.  It never has before.  But I am getting older, so maybe I better keep to good eating, just in case. 


I'm done arguing with myself.  It's time to bring in another person.  My terrified husband tries to avoid eye contact with me, but I get him.  I go on and on about how I'm so hungry for yummy deliciousness but yet I'm scared I'll "hurt my insides" (LOL!!!) but I just wanna eat and right now vegetables aren't cutting it.  I complain about how I used to be able to inhale all  kinds of food and not gain an ounce, but how now it's the total opposite.  I tell him how he doesn't know the struggle of being a girl because we care about our appearances and there's so much pressure to keep them up. 


His response?  A shocking one.  He says eat and be happy.  Eat what I want and just keep up with the exercising I've been doing.  As long as I don't become a blob stuck to the couch I'll be fine, so I just need to enjoy myself.  Why is it shocking?  Because his response proved he was actually listening to me :)  So now, whenever I start arguing with myself, I remember what he said.  Of course it doesn't change anything, because I'm who I am, and I'm gonna keep battling myself ;)

My walk with God

My walk with God is a work in progress.  I have a past, as anyone does.  I'm not perfect.  In fact, I'm far from it.  It would take me longer to list the negatives about myself, then it would the positives. 
But, lucky for me, I have a God that still loves me. 

I spent most of my life living for myself.  I did teenage things, I drank, I smoked, I lied, I didn't treat all people with love.  But like I said, I'M NOT PERFECT!  I wasn't born with a close relationship with God.  I obtained it later in life.  So, I lived my life as a sinner.  Even though I didn't talk to Him often, my God never left my side.  What a great thing to know! 

I know that Jesus took my place on the cross.  He died and endured all that humiliating torture so that I wouldn't have to.  While I know this is true, I can't fathom the thought.  It's too much for my small mind.  However, now that I'm saved, I gotta admit that I never had one of those "fireworks, lights shining down from heaven, angels rejoicing" moments when it happened.  I can't pinpoint the exact day, time, what I was wearing, like some people can.  Honestly, I feel that makes me less of a Christian than others.  But deep down, I know that's not true.  I've heard it preached many times in sermons.  But I'm my worst enemy, and I'll beat myself over anything. Or, maybe it's just Satan being his normal self by trying to ruin me. 

I turned away from things in my life that I knew were bad. I left the friends behind that were into things I knew Christ doesn't like.  Now I have maybe 2 people I talk to on occasion.  I really have no friends.  And, while I truly always thought that it was ok to have a drink of wine every now and then, I learned that the wine in the Bible wasn't fermented. Oops!  So, I quickly turned from that.  9 months!  Not to make myself sound like  a drunk, cause I wasn't.  I'm talking I had a glass on the weekends, that's it.  But, for some reason when I would ask God to point out things in my life that He wanted me to change, that always stuck out in my mind.  I talked to my pastor and he let me know that I had been mistaken this whole time about the wine in the Bible.  So, I'm happy that I heard God talk to me, and that I responded. 

I read my Bible, I pray all the time.  But I'm still growing, still learning.  Sometimes, I even beg God for help in areas in my life, yet I don't see a change.  I know there's a reason for it (satan holding me back) but I honestly get frustrated sometimes.  I ask, beg, and even cry to God for help and I don't get it.  That doesn't mean He isn't there, and He isn't working in me.  I know He will never leave me.  He really  has been convicting me lately, in the area I've been desperately asking for help in.  So I know that He is waiting on ME to make the move!